Hello friends and family. I was told that today is Friday. It seems that when you miss half of a day, it feels lost and all attempts to make up for it throughout only plague you with the knowledge that you could have done all of these same things while it was light outside; but you missed the lit hours and so must drudge around in the dark. At least that’s how it is for me. I apologize for the presumption that you are also a vampire.
The title of this post was meant to be “Yoda, Large Women, Marriage, and Lastly, Last Call” but my moods shift too rapidly and I usually end up with something much more simple (but less to the point) than I wish.
Today is a celebration of sorts. I was hit on last night for probably the first time ever. I was also sat on by two lovely ladies, both twice my size. Then, subsequently married to a third young lady old enough to be your mother, assuming you’re 55. It didn’t last long as my brother, both an ordained minister and lawyer, quickly annulled our vowes, gave her five of the ten dollars in my pocket as well an unopened pack of smokes I had purchased an hour before, and told her to get lost. Rather strange behavior from both my best man and the person whose idea it was we get married in the first place- but love is fleeting I suppose.
To follow in turn, I should introduce myself at the end of the post. Aparently there is a format we are to follow. My name is Steven. If I told this to you out loud, you may ask me how I spell it- with a “p-h” or a “v”. It is with a ‘v’. I have recently recovered from something that I can only guess was a bout of the plague. Just a little two-week spell. But we’re all better now, we can breath, eat, talk, and do all the things normally healthy people do – we thank you for your concern.
That’s my show for tonight. I’d apologize to you in advance for probable spelling and gramatical mistakes, but you’re here now, so you must have been able to chop your way through to the end. Have a lovely week, be bold, make that exciting purchase you’ve been flip-flopping over, and don’t wear flannel.