Take a Look, It’s In a Book

I was asked which five literary characters I would marry if I had the chance….and I realized I couldn’t fit it down to just five. I could do eight, six, even three if I needed to, but the nice average number five just would not do.

So I did the typical Rachel thing and expanded it to 10. Enjoy.

By the way, I hope you notice that not one of the men on this list is Mr. Darcy. I’ve never read Pride & Prejudice (although I did start Pride & Prejudice & Zombies the other day), so I can’t put him on here anyway, but I’m especially determined to keep him off the list because I’m sick of everyone saying he’s the quintessential man. From what I’ve heard, he seems a little like Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables (another character girls always swoon over), and I’ve never been much attracted to him, either. Anyway, on with the show.

Top 10 Literary Characters I Would So Marry:

-Peter Pevensie, from The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

The first person I remember having a crush on. I would marry him both as he appears in the books and in the BBC movies from the 1980s, but I cannot stand what they did to his character in the new films. Bad form, Walden Media. Bad form.

-John Jarndyce, from Bleak House by Charles Dickens

Apparently one of my favorite authors, Nabokov, said Jarndyce was “the best and kindest man ever to appear in a novel,” and I’m inclined to agree. Take that, Mr. Darcy. I’m swooning just thinking about him. I really need to read Bleak House again.

-George Weasley, from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

Yes, specifically George. I love Fred, too, but I think I’d rather be friends with him. I actually can tell the two apart, even though they almost always appear together. George is the slightly kinder, calmer, more generous of the two.

-Remus Lupin, from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

I’ve loved him pretty much since his first appearance in Prisoner of Azkaban. While most of the people I know prefer Sirius Black, I find Remus to be the Marauder worth marrying. He was the mediator of the group, and was just so darn sad all the time I wanted to cheer him up.

-Neville Longbottom, from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

I have to admit I didn’t have a crush on Neville until the third movie came out and I noticed the actor who played him grew into a fairly good-looking boy. I always liked the character, but it was more of, “Oh poor pitiful Neville, look how adorable you are!” The fourth book was when I started caring for him even more. And by the time he was a 7th year….yowza, that boy had my heart. I so can’t wait for the last movie; they better do him justice.

-Atticus Finch, from To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

My 9th grade English teacher said Atticus Finch was the only literary character she ever wished she could marry. At the time I hadn’t read To Kill a Mockingbird yet, so I had no opinion of him. The next year we read it, though, and I have to say she made a spectacular choice.

-Pippin Took, from The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein

This is another character that I already loved from the books, and then when I saw the movies it just made him that much better. I got a mad crush on Billy Boyd because of Pippin. He’s sort of Neville-ish in a way, with his clumsiness and inadvertent let’s-make-a-mess-of-things. And he’s also Neville-ish in his managing to become an awesome hero by the end.

-Stock the poet, from The Westmark Trilogy by Lloyd Alexander

I have to read these again to remember the story and characters properly, but I do remember being completely enamored with Stock. He was only a minor character, one of “Florian’s children” (that is, one of the followers of revolutionary leader Florian) and he sadly doesn’t last very long in the series. He was the gentle giant, who looked like he could squeeze the life out of you in seconds, but would rather write poems and look on the brighter side. A complete reversal of his best friend, Justin, who looked like an angel but was the bloodthirstiest of the bunch.

-Bran the Pendragon, from The Dark is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper

Another series I need to read again. Bran is a mysterious, albino Welsh boy whose best friend is a silver-eyed sheepdog named Cafall. As it turns out, Bran is King Arthur’s son, and as a baby was brought into present day so that he can take up his fate as Pendragon during the last battle between the Light and Dark. (It sounds extremely cheesy and cliché in this summary, but these books are seriously amazing. Read them.)

-Louis the Yard Teacher, from the Sideways Stories from Wayside School series by Louis Sachar

I….have no explanation.

It’s probably a compliment to J.K. Rowling that I fell in love with three distinct characters from her books.

Also notice how most of them are from fantasy novels, and usually those in a set. It helps when you can read that person in more than one book.

A lot of them are from books I read throughout my childhood. I think that’s partly because the books I liked to read as a child had much more likable characters than the books I like to read now. You probably won’t find many marriage-worthy men in any J.D. Salinger or Flannery O’Connor stories.

So. Who would you choose?



8 thoughts on “Take a Look, It’s In a Book

  1. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. I remember reading The Dark Is Rising Sequence a looong time ago; perhaps I should revisit it. And Bleak House has sat on my shelf for years, taunting me.

    Maybe your next post should be the five least marriage-worthy men in Flannery O’Connor? ;)

    AJ Harbison

  2. Before I read the list, thank you for leaving Mr. Darcy off. I knew I could trust you to be different.

  3. Ok… I know you haven’t read them… and I know tons of girls swoon over him, but seriously, Mr. Darcy is the man. Imagine a wealthy incredibly handsome and talented Atticus Finch. Despite the second film adaptation having lots of bare chest and romantic kisses (because no one in Austin’s books ever kiss) I still thought Mr. Darcy was done justice. I did read the book and fell in love with him THEN found out that he is apparently adored by women everywhere. I will refrain from bitter remarks towards Stephen.

  4. I’m with you on Atticus Finch, but don’t know the others. I do have a brand, spanking new copy of P&P now, a book I’ve never read, so I’ll see if Mr.Darcy lives up to the hype.

    I enjoy reading Flannery O’Connor as much as anyone, but the likes of Hazel Motes isn’t very appealing for this kind of list. Actually, I think I’d rather forego the marriage bit and just hang out with some of the characters populating Faulker, Updike, Woolf, Steinbeck, James, Welty, Durrell… That would be some fun.

    I couldn’t get in very much trouble, could I?!

  5. Sorry, that’s my “must hate everything popular” side. Dealing with it is like playing whack-a-mole.

  6. I usually feel that way too… but in this case, there’s a darn good reason for his popularity. I’m actually impressed with the general population for admiring such a character (because in real life most women would actually go for the Willoughbys of the world.)

  7. I think most of the Mr. Darcy love is pure sheep mentality – people loving him bc everyone else loves him (although I’m pretty sure that 90% of those everyones have never read P&P… and no, watching the movie does not count).

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