It’s that time of year again. Tacky lights and kitschy decorations galore! And I love it. So here’s to the meshiest part of 2009. I hope you brought your galoshes.
1. Hooray for Santy Claus! – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
The theme song to the most ridiculous Santa movie ever! It’s a cult classic! I’m a fan of the MST3k and Cinematic Titanic versions of it, myself, mostly because I’m lazy and like other people to think up jokes so I don’t have to. But also because I have a crush on Joel Hodgson and Trace Beaulieu. Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, everyone!
2. Put the Lights on the Tree – Sufjan Stevens
As I said last year, there’s a lot of Sufjan on this mix partly because he has so many songs to choose from, and partly because he’s just awesome at it.
3. Cha-Cha All the Way – Captiol Studio Orchestra
I have a lot of upbeat tunes on here, I’ve noticed. I guess ’09 has just been that kind of year. So dance it out, kids!
4. Blanca Navidad – Diana Reyes
A little Spanish Irving Berlin for you.
5. Deck the Halls – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
C’mon, you can make it through this song. I believe in you.
6. Holiday Road – Matt Pond PA
Makes me want to curl up with a blanket and drink some hot cocoa with marshmallows. Not quite Meshy, but festive nonetheless.
7. Attack of the Bear and the Robot – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Oh noes! Little Billy and Betty Foster are cornered in an ice cave by a polar bear! (Well, man in fur suit, really.) Then, when they finally think they’re safe, they run into a giant Martian Robot (man in cardboard boxes). Believe me, anything you can picture in your mind, even with this cheesy audio, is much, much more epic than how it was in the movie.
8. Toy Sack – Bob Rivers
A parody of The B-52s’ “Love Shack,” in all its Yuletide glory! “Have a what?!” “Merrrrrrrrrry…Christmas.” Hahahaha. I thought you would quite enjoy this one, Ebo.
9. The Friendly Beasts – Sufjan Stevens
Lovely song. I think my favorite part is the sheep.
10. Blue Christmas – Jessichristmas
I told you Jess does a mean “Blue Christmas.” So does our friend Dan, who I’ll put on next year’s mix.
11. Outer Space Santa – Lawrence Welk’s Little Band
Lies! All lies! As Santa Claus Conquers the Martians demonstrates, before 1964 Mars did not, in fact, have its own Santa. That’s why they kidnapped ours. I guess Lawrence Welk was just ahead of his time (snort).
12. Christmas – Disneyland’s Carousel of Progress
It’s not the Carousel of Social Progress, apparently. Now stop talking, Mom, and get back to the kitchen.
13. Winter Wonderland – Peggy Lee
Peggy Lee is all sorts of sultry. One of my favorite jazz singers, for sure.
14. Oh Holy Night – Elin
Beautiful song, beautifully performed by Elin Smith (wife of Daniel Smith, creator of the Danielson Famile)
15. Christmastime in L.A. – Chris and Adriana Schlarb
Nothing’s cuter than getting the kids in on your recording sessions.
16. Robot in Santa’s Grotto – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
The Martians send their Robot to kidnap Santa in his workshop, but Santa turns the tables by treating him like a toy. So the Martians use a Nerf airgun on Santa’s elves to make them freeze. Santa doesn’t seem too worried about Mrs. Claus, though.
17. Sun Valley Ski Run – Esquivel
I love me some Esquivel. He’s Latin-tastic!
18. It’s Christmas! Let’s Be Glad! – Sufjan Stevens
19. Frosty the Snowman – The Roches
Fun! Favorite part: “Why I oughtta…”
20. Thanks For Christmas – XTC
When I put XTC’s other Christmas song on last year’s mix, I said I didn’t like this one as much as that one. It’s true. But XTC is so gosh darn lovely that even their lesser Christmas song is so totally worth it. Enjoy!
21. Christmas Kiss – The Mary Hamhocks
I want to be friends with these ladies.
22.Twelve Days of Christmas – Bob & Doug McKenzie
My favorite Canandians, besides Sara! Yes, they exist to make stereotypical Canadian jokes, but they’re Canadian so they can get away with it. Haha. Besides, their drunken timing is so perfect.
23. Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End) – The Darkness
Everyone needs a little bit of glam when they’re visiting with the fam.
24. Get Behind Me, Santa! – Sufjan Stevens
I love Sufjan’s affinity for song titles.
25. Martian Fight – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Martian Voldar tries to kill Santa and the kids by ejecting them from an airlock. Martian Kimar saves the day by fighting (jr. high wrestling?) with Voldar. And Santa is still jolly as ever.
Happy Holidays, everyone. Go kiss someone for no good reason.
P.S. I just realized there was a klezmer song I forgot to put on here. Now I’m kind of bummed. I guess I’ll save it for next year. I’m already looking forward to Vol. 3…