Dr. Thunderlizard’s Great Gray Moles

Three posts and four years ago (!!!) I wrote about my dear ol’ Professor’s book of poems.

Here is Dr. Thunderlizard* himself, reading one of them.

It’s been too long,


*Dr. Thunderlizard is one of Johnny Wink’s numerous nicknames.


CBC vs. CNN: Eps. 1-3

April 12, 2010

CBC | Top Stories News
Guergis allegations came from ‘3rd party’
Niqab gets 2nd Quebec student expelled
Pilot in Polish crash may be to blame: officials

Conan O’Brien takes late night show to TBS

April 14, 2010

CBC | Top Stories News
Guergis says allegations based on ‘innuendo’
Chinese earthquakes kill at least 400
Afghan abuse claims went on after 2007: official

Kate Gosselin: TV work provides for the kids

April 26, 2010

CBC | Top Stories News
UN pulls staff from Kandahar
Liberals promise national food policy
British MP Galloway’s hearing delayed

Let teens drink? Parents wrestle with the question

You have the right to free speech/as long as you’re not dumb enough to actually try it…

Ann Coulter’s visit (or attempted visit) to Canada has already been given far more publicity and time and energy than she will ever deserve. But I wish to make one tiny comment more.

Call it a vocabulary lesson, if you will.

After her speaking engagement at the Unversity of Ottawa was cancelled, Ms. Coulter’s comments was that “Free speech in Canada leaves much to be desired.”

We realize, Ms. Coulter, that you feel the need to ridicule certain places because they speak a language you do not, but last I checked, “free speech” was still very much an English phrase, which begs the question why you do not understand its definition.

Legal Dictionary
Main Entry: freedom of speech
: the right to express information, ideas, and opinions free of government restrictions based on content and subject only to reasonable limitations (as the power of the government to avoid a clear and present danger) esp. as guaranteed by the First and Fourteenth Amendments to the U.S. Constitution

Oh! U.S. Constitution, you say? Well, as I am merely an ignorant and probably scary Socialist Canadian and you are a wise and learned American, then surely you would better understand that than I.

First Amendment definition
An amendment to the United States Constitution guaranteeing the rights of free expression and action that are fundamental to democratic government… The government is empowered, however, to restrict these freedoms if expression threatens to be destructive

Can we focus for a second on that last phrase… if expression threatens to be destructive.

What would you call comments such as the following if not destructive?

Muslims shouldn’t be allowed to travel in airplanes and should use flying carpets instead. 

“They’d better hope the United States doesn’t roll over one night and crush them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent.”

“The University of Ottawa is really easy to get into, isn’t it?” she said in an interview after the cancelled event. “I never get any trouble at the Ivy League schools. It’s always the bush league schools.”

In my opinion, Canadian and Francophile though it may be, Ms. Coulter needs to take a break from writing punchy blogs and from stomping around university campuses and maybe go back to kindergarten and learn some basics.

You know, like why name-calling just isn’t nice. Or necessary. And why it’s definitely not free… of cost or of consequence.

God keep our land glorious and free… from idiots.

I was at a football game yesterday afternoon (a fine place to be on a fine afternoon) and, as per usual, just before opening kick-off we were asked to stand for the singing of the national anthem. A children’s choir had assembled on the field and, with an encouraging nod from their cotton-haired conductor, they began singing with mellifluous, slightly tremulous harmonies (and the occasional very anglicised French word). However, towards the end of the song, there was the sound of something neither melodious nor timid: there were boos drowning out the sound of the children’s voices.

I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve been to an event where our anthem is sung, because apparently it has become normal for people to boo in response to the word “God” in the song.

There are so many things I could say to that, but I will limit myself to just two :

1. Canada is a glorious and free country. You would think Canadians would be thankful if someone was contributing to the upkeep of their country, since the majority of them do absolutely nothing to appreciate or contribute to the amazing freedoms and opportunities offered to them here.

2. It’s a kids’ choir, assholes. If you want to make a statement, make one a little more intelligent than :  “I’m going to publicly humiliate a nine-year old.”

Des fleurons glorieux!

MJ is dead. So is Farah Fawcett (poor lady, overshadowed by the Gloved One).

After the seasons of arctic cold and relentless rain, last week saw the advent of the third glad season of my homeland : melting humidity! However, the sun disappeared this weekend, to be replaced by monsoon rain, then found its way back again today, in a weak parody of the +30 (“90 degrees in the shade,” for you Fairenheit weirdos) I’m accustomed to in these summer months. If this weather is global warming, then global warming sucks.

Canada is almost 142, and tomorrow I shall be fêting my beau pays wholeheartedly. A bruncheon date with le chum and un ami, a beach date with more amis (global warming be damned!), then street festivals (read: beer gardens) all  evening. The vast majority of my work cohorts are taking Thursday and Friday off, somehow making even a Wednesday holiday equal a long weekend, but I’m somewhat excited about having one long week turn into two mini weeks, with a glorious day of nothingness in between.

To Canadianise yourself, if only for the day:

Become more knowledgeable than 98% of Canadians!

Say “Eh!” (or “Eh?” or even “Eh.”) at least once.

Order some Obama cookies from Byward Market…

oh wait. Maybe not that.


Happy Canada Day!